From Pain to Purpose

Many have been wondering how I got to where I am today, especially how I became a psychic medium seemingly out of the blue, or rather at a “ mature” age (lol). I thought I would write the coles note version of my story below.

Today I live with a level of peace, authenticity, and self-awareness I never knew was possible. 

If you had met me many years ago, you probably would have thought I had a wonderful life, and at that time, I would have agreed with you. I was living the life I believed I was supposed to. 

I had a good job, the marriage with 3 amazing kids, I was deeply engaged in my community, and lived a very active and healthy lifestyle.

However, what I couldn’t see then was how years of suppressing emotions, avoiding myself, and living without self-love and genuine self-worth were quietly shaping my inner world — manifesting not only as emotional suffering, but eventually within my physical body as well. 

So when I turned 40 years old, my life turned upside down. My body began suffering greatly with chronic and unexplained health issues. 

Little by little, my quality of life began to erode. It started with what seemed like smaller things—aches and pains, asthma, anemia, insomnia, thyroid issues—and over time, those smaller symptoms/issues accumulated into much bigger health challenges. I developed gallbladder problems that eventually required surgery, retinal tears in both eyes that required surgery, and eventually a hysterectomy. My iron levels became dangerously low, and nothing I did seemed to bring it up, and the list goes on.

I was so exhausted that simply getting through a normal day became a physical struggle. I woke up each day feeling just as exhausted as the day before. I remember driving my kids to hockey and having to crank up the music and get them to talk to me just to help keep me awake. During their practices, I would crawl into the back of the car with a sleeping bag and rest. I worked only 20 minutes from home, yet there were days I had to pull over and take a quick nap just to have enough energy to make it home safely. I gained weight that couldn't be explained by my thyroid issues alone, despite eating well, exercising, and doing everything I believed I was supposed to do to take care of myself.

I had always been someone who advocated for health and wellness. I was a fitness instructor and a massage therapist. I knew how to care for my body. Yet, it was like every time I turned around another thing popped up that couldn’t be explained. I loved running, and eventually, I couldn't run anymore. So many things I used to love to do, became another thing I couldn’t do. I had little energy left for anything beyond meeting the minimum expectations and obligations of everyday life. But the impact went far beyond the physical. I was embarrassed. Embarrassed by how I looked, by how difficult it had become to keep up with everyday expectations and obligations, and by how my kids saw me, needing a nap before I could even make supper, day after day. I began pulling away from activities and people. Little by little, my world was becoming smaller, and I hated how my life was becoming. Yet, for those outside looking in, I was fine. I just kept pushing. I kept showing up. I kept meeting as many expectations as I could. I kept telling myself I could handle it. But the truth was, every day had become a physical, emotional and mental struggle and I was becoming increasingly disconnected from the life I was trying to live. It was a loop that never seemed to end.

At the time, I FELT BROKEN and believed my body was failing me. I was miserable.

What I’ve shared here is only a glimpse of what I was experiencing. There were many other symptoms, health concerns, emotions, and relationship challenges that accumulated along the way.

For 10 long years, I dedicated my time, effort and resources to my health, searching for answers. Trying everything with no results. I knew there was an answer somewhere. Deep down inside me, I knew what the doctors were telling me was not correct. It wasn’t just because I was a woman or that I was aging. I was driven to find the answers. Through it all, I was so deeply unhappy; but like most others, I pushed through and carried on with a smile on my face.  I thought if I could just get my health in order, everything would be better.

What I know now was that it was me that was failing my body, not the other way around. My body was trying to get me to acknowledge all the parts of me that I had silenced for years. 

To make a long story short, I hit my rock bottom, my limits. I was living my crisis moment, the one you hear others have that shakes them up, that makes them change and do things differently. This was mine.  I know that rock bottom looks different for everyone, and I’m not suggesting that my experience was worse than someone else’s, as I know that is not true. I can only speak to my own journey and the moment when I knew I could no longer continue living the way I had been.

Around the age of 49, I for some reason started to pay attention to the signs and synchronicities before me, not knowing where it was going to lead me. At 50 years old I discovered that I could communicate with the beautiful souls of the unseen.

Who knew? Because it certainly wasn’t me.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed that about myself.

Looking back at my life, there were definite signs and experiences that should have clued me in, but, I never thought to question whether my experiences were any different from those of the people around me. I simply assumed that what I experienced was normal—that everyone experienced the world in much the same way I did. I was in the habit of dismissing and ignoring myself.

My newfound awareness of my gifts initiated my healing journey. Spirit taught me how to heal. I know now, that I needed these beautiful soul gifts of communication with Spirit, for Spirit to teach me.

On this journey, I realized I had drifted away from who I truly was, I unknowingly succumbed to generational patterns, societal pressures, and past conditioning that slowly pulled me out of alignment with myself.   

For the first time, I began listening to that inner voice I had spent years ignoring, dismissing, and distrusting.

As I continued developing my abilities, I became more aware of myself. I learned how to truly love myself. I learned my INHERENT value and my self-worth.

I learned to take personal responsibility for my thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors.

I learned to recognize and release the past conditioning, those limiting beliefs, and negative inner narratives that influenced my choices.  I worked through past life influences, karmic patterns and so much more.

Today, I have the privilege of working with others on their journeys. 

Not only do I feel the honour of providing messages from their loved ones in spirit, but by guiding individuals to become aware of their truth, take their personal responsibility and heal to break these generational cycles.

It was my own pain, healing, transformation, and lived experience that taught me how to guide people. Because I know what it feels like to lose yourself, to live on auto pilot and not even know you are doing it… and I know what it takes to become yourself again.

My healing journey transformed my pain into purpose.

A purpose rooted in helping others reconnect with themselves, heal, and live more authentically.

If there is one thing I hope you take away from my story, it is this:

No matter your age, or how disconnected, lost, stuck or unhappy you may feel, it is never too late to reconnect with yourselves, to clear your past, to heal your present (mind, body and soul), and to create a life that is fulfilling, joyful and deeply peaceful.